I’m guessing if you really messed up, you’d want to be forgiven, too. I learned this early on, mainly from attending Sunday school at church: In order to free yourself of hateful thoughts, you have to treat others the way you want to be treated. You might feel like you’re being duped because the person you care about isn’t doing what’s obviously right, but getting worked up about these choices won’t affect the other person. It’s easy to set your default emotions to being bitter when life feels “unfair,” but life isn’t about what’s fair. You’re constantly wondering why your home life isn’t like others, something you shouldn’t have to focus on as a kid.
It also limits what we think our capabilities are as an evolving person. Don’t compare your life to othersĬonstant comparison isn’t just a thief of joy. These mottos, which I live by now, all resulted in a better, healthier “me.” 1. In the years of growing up with and without a father who drank and wondering if alcoholism defined “me,” I’ve learned a few things, often the hard way. That hopeful ending is what keeps you going, even when the process is confusing and distracting and sad. You know it’s not really “them” - it’s the alcohol, and you’re hopeful the horrors will all end soon. Even in their darkest moments, they’re still your hero. Having a parent with alcoholism can be endless disappointment. My friends had to carry me back to my dorm room.
